Parody Story About Stacey Abrams Accepts Joe Biden’s Offer To Be His 2020 Vice-President.
Failed gubernatorial candidate and self-anointed Governor of Georgia Stacey Abrams has graciously accepted Joe Biden’s offer to run as his vice-presidential candidate.
After Joe Biden announced his choice to be his running mate in 2020. Stacy Abrams quickly had herself airlifted to the Georgia dome to give a speech not only to congratulate herself but also to console all the losers that failed to put in the necessary pandering time.
Holding back tears by swallowing fistfuls of skittles. Carbzilla stomped up to the podium and said she hasn’t been this excited since that ‘All you can eat for $5 buffet’ opened next door to her home.
The salad dodging Democrat presumptive VP declared she’s ready to run a vigorous campaign for the next three months, as long as it didn’t actually involve doing any real running.
Handing a bag of half suckled Twizzlers to her assistant, Abrams eyed the mic like it was a KFC drumstick and said:
“Thanks so much, I’m humbled by my victory, and simply overwhelmed with knowing that in one of Joe Biden’s rare moments of clarity he had enough sense to declare me the winner.
For everyone who thought I couldn’t make it over the finish line, I only have this to say… Never bet against black, especially a black fat chick with a coupon to Crispy Cream.
I just want to say to all those that lost, look to my past behavior, and accept your loserdom with the grace and dignity that I’ve always shown.
I also want to thank the mainstream media for their over-the-top propaganda after recognizing that I was the only one that checked all the Identity boxes, including being a man.
To my friends in fake news medialand, I can only say this…
You’ll definitely be the first ones I leak disparaging information about the Joe Biden and his administration and I look forward to February 2021 as you cover my swearing-in as the 47th President of the United States.”
No word on how she’ll fit in the basement, but we will keep you updated on any new developments.