A clearly concerned President Donald Trump announced that ‘I Will Not Debate Joe Biden,’ before sending a message to the former VP that he can rest easy in his Delaware basement as he no longer has to concern himself with those three scheduled 2020 Presidential debates.
Yes, even Democrats found this move quite unusual for Donald Trump who is well known for ‘going for the jugular’ when he senses the slightest weakness in his opponent.
But as we’ve seen in his recently renewed White House Coronavirus Press Briefings 2.0, this is a much kinder, gentler Donald J. Trump who now wears a mask in public and conceded that the Coronavirus pandemic will be with us a while longer.
So in that vein, it’s not surprising that President Donald Trump has taken pity on Joe Biden for which that (D) following his name no longer represents ‘Democrat,’ but ‘Dementia.’
Last week after Biden’s handlers forgot to padlock his cellar door, thus allowing Joe to wander off his compound and into William ‘Hicks’ Anderson Community Center.
According to our source in the White House, President Trump watched in sheer horror as Joe welcomed everyone to Kingswood Community Center. After Joe Biden’s glassy-eyed look of confusion slightly abated, he then blurted out that he actually didn’t know where he was.
President Trump’s supposed, according to the Democrats, cold black heart of ice, experienced a meltdown that rivaled even the one Greta Thunberg had when speaking at the UN in 2019.
Trump Declares ‘I Will Not Debate Joe Biden’
Our source said this new more compassionate Donald Trump, speaking in a voice awash in sorrow, stated: “Poor Joe, he served America well, but he’ll be 78 years old in November, and while God has blessed him with a load road, he’s clearly running out of real-estate.”
When his aides tried to reawaken the Donald Trump ‘take no prisoners’ spirit that his 63-million MAGAmaniacs have now come to know and love. President Trump cut them off like a bartender telling an inebriated Nancy Pelosi ‘it’s 2 am, time to go home you stuttering alcoholic.‘
But after some long hours of debate, according to our source, President Donald Trump did acquiesce ever so slightly.
President Trump signed Executive Order #1275 which stated that instead of standing or being relegated to sitting on a stool. Joe Biden will be allowed an easy-chair recliner during the Presidential debates, so he can rest his weary mind between questions.
Please Note: this is a parody and if anyone cries that I didn’t start this article off with saying that, then you shouldn’t be allowed to surf the web without adult supervision.